What I wanted to say was..”I want more.”
What I wanted to say was ..”I want more, because I deserve more.”
What I REALLY wanted to say, when the phone rang..once I finally answered it.. was…”I want more, because I deserve more and I’m tired of feeling used.”
What I said was “Hey baby—Yeah, I’m sorry. I’ve been busy— I miss you too— Yeah…it’s cool, you can come by—I’ll be ready. Bye”
What I should have said was; “Hey. Yeah, I know you been calling..I’ve been busy. Anyway, I know why your calling and I haven’t been in the mood. Actually, I’m not sure if I’ll ever (BE) in the mood again. You only call me when you want something. Which is usually sex. It was cool for a while, but now I’m bored and I want more out of sex. Or better yet, I want more with my sex. It’s nothing personal really. You were great. But, honestly I don’t think about you until the next time you call. Not ONE, SINGLE time have I thought about YOU, during the day. You’re not my type AND not someone that I would want a serious relationship from… So…umm..I don’t wanna fuck you anymore. And…umm..don’t call me anymore. Goodbye.“
When I heard your voice, thoughts of not being alone and thoughts of finally feeling safe enough to sleep..became more important. I felt that maybe me settling for you and having warmth for just 1 more night, isn’t as bad…as my cold empty bed.